I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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