We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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