Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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