I hate all girls vehemently.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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