he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
