so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
