Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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