Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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