Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
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just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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