Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You were trust falling into bushes
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