Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
