I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
