??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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