Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
