I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
