At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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