After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
