So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
