he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is Oprah even human
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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