We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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