i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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