And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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