Her vagina should come with caution tape.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
