im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
