apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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