I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She even gives head with a lisp.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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