I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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