He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
