We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
