i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.