i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.