she looked like the before picture.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize