I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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