For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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