Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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