i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
