I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
