You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
