Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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