My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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