He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
