have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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