Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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