she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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