I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
