Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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