The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We left an ass print on the piano.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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