i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize