As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
