I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize