I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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