She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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