I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
