what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
