he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize