I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
