I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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