she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize