No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
