what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
