So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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